You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
