your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize