You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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