DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
