Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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