I wish you could order shots online.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
