and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
