dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
