I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
