When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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