I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
organizing the empties. That sober.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
