Dual....:-)
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
