she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize