dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
