the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I will pee on everything he values.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
