well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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