I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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