Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize