Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Randomize
