I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
should my penis look like a turkey
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
