I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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