Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
PANTIES FOUND
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize