dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
