My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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