Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize