Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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