Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Randomize
