The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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