He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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