Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Randomize
