Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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