I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
