Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
