Are we in a gay sports bar?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
