Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
How external is "for external use only"?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
