Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize