I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
