Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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