Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
