I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize