Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
