Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize