She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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