bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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