Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
