We're like a lot better than the average bears
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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