Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
