Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
A+ Viking dick
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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