this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
