It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
handjob tips. give me some.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
