Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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