From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
not ubering you a puppy
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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