we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
