Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
