Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
