Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
