I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
