Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
