New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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