Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
