I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
