should my penis look like a turkey
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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