thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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