We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize