So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
